Life is made up of tiny things.
Little events.
Small words here & there.
Every move, heart-beat, thought, and action adds up to our life, and what we make it.
I wish I could say that every little piece of my life has been well-spent or even, meaningful.
It hasn't.
Many times, I've tried very hard (ironically) to just 'exist'. Not do anything bad, but not do anything very good either. Unfortunately, there have been whole chapters of my short life spent that way...and it's definitely been a waste.
Breaking out of that safe 'slowed time' cocoon is indeed the hardest part of growing up, and moving forward in my life. As a kid, time was sort of a secondary thing to my day. The important points on the clock (lunchtime, dinnertime, playtime, nap time) were all that mattered...and that was okay, for a small child.
However, now I see that something should shape my day and give meaning to it. Now that I am well old enough to understand passage & importance of time, it also falls upon me to understand the responsibility that comes with living within it. It is not enough anymore for me to say to myself, "Well, as long as it doesn't hurt or hinder anyone directly, and as long as no one notices either...then I'm going go ahead to do such & such for X number of hours." That's a child's mentality, and hardly acceptable for an adult!
It's like this:
Whenever I hear someone mentioning the scripture about "redeeming the time"... I think of holding a check in my hand and going to the bank. Imagine if instead of being paid by a set hourly rate, we were paid based on how we used the time we worked. If you worked hard and well, you got paid well. If you slacked off, you got little or nothing. It would be a fair, but indeed harsh system!
I think that's how I should look at my days from now onwards; less as just 'putting in hours' and more as working as unto the Lord. Because really, He is the only one who always:
- sees what I am trying to do (all of it)
- knows what I could or should be doing
- and understands the whys behind all of it
Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time. (Colossians 4:5)
Wow, what a challenging post - and just when I needed to hear it too! The part about just "existing" is spot-on. For a while it's fun, but it leaves you empty in the long run.
ReplyDeletei graduated with my masters degree in counseling in august, and i'm still looking for a job. i definitely feel like i'm just existing right now, but i'm yearning for more. your post is encouraging to me to live in the present and take advantage of all the free time i've been given right now.
ReplyDeletewow,yes, I know where you're coming from...it's tough isn't it? no lie.
ReplyDeletebut it's a special time too, like you said...you've got the room now to do those things no one else has the time for! it's really neat. :)
This post is so convicting, yet inspiring. Oh how I wish I use the time I've been given in a wise way!
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