{These are Blessings Indeed!}

I must say, I've been blessed. Truly, truly blessed. You all have blessed me! God has smiled on me.
And I don't say that in a cliche "ohymgoodness" sort of way....I really mean it.

The fact that I'm even alive today is a miracle.
The fact that I have a supporting circle of loving people is a true, real gift.
That fact that I have a loving family, and a beautiful, safe home to live in is worth celebrating too!

But today, what I'm thinking of the most is the hearts of the those.....my friends and family....who decided that the dream God gave me of going to Romania, and loving on those lovely, needy people was worth sponsoring.
Worth praying for.
Worth believing in me for.

It's amazing to me!
Because, really, even if I told everything I know and feel about Romania, and what God has said so far to me about it....and even if I admitted that I don't know exactly why I'm going or what will come of it.....it doesn't seem matter to you all!

I'm not talking just about monetary giving for my trip here. (No, but in that respect, I've been extremely blessed as well! Everything has been provided for! Many, many thanks...) I'm thinking of the love, the kind words, the prayers that these folks have given me....each was special!

And I think I'm just standing in awe of God right now.
How He works things out and, how he worked this out for me.
I feel so special! and yet so little, and unworthy of this trip, at the same time!
I promise I will try not to worry about my abilities because "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" and I promise to carry myself well in Romania, and serve with all my heart, soul, mind & strength! As would befit someone who has been so, so blessed....

I must thank you, my friends, my family & my church.
Love in Jesus,
~Hannah

Spent Time.

Life is made up of tiny things. 
Little events.
Small words here & there.
Every move, heart-beat, thought, and action adds up to our life, and what we make it.

I wish I could say that every little piece of my life has been well-spent or even, meaningful.
It hasn't.
Many times, I've tried very hard (ironically) to just 'exist'. Not do anything bad, but not do anything very good either. Unfortunately, there have been whole chapters of my short life spent that way...and it's definitely been a waste.

Breaking out of that safe 'slowed time' cocoon is indeed the hardest part of growing up, and moving forward in my life. As a kid, time was sort of a secondary thing to my day. The important points on the clock (lunchtime, dinnertime, playtime, nap time) were all that mattered...and that was okay, for a small child.

However, now I see that something should shape my day and give meaning to it. Now that I am well old enough to understand passage & importance of time, it also falls upon me to understand the responsibility that comes with living within it. It is not enough anymore for me to say to myself, "Well, as long as it doesn't hurt or hinder anyone directly, and as long as no one notices either...then I'm going go ahead to do such & such for X number of hours." That's a child's mentality, and hardly acceptable for an adult!

It's like this:
Whenever I hear someone mentioning the scripture about "redeeming the time"... I think of holding a check in my hand and going to the bank. Imagine if instead of being paid by a set hourly rate, we were paid based on how we used the time we worked. If you worked hard and well, you got paid well. If you slacked off, you got little or nothing. It would be a fair, but indeed harsh system!

I think that's how I should look at my days from now onwards; less as just 'putting in hours' and more as working as unto the Lord. Because really, He is the only one who always:

• sees what I am trying to do (all of it)
• knows what I could or should be doing
• and understands the whys behind all of it

Giving an account for my day....might just be a more sobering prospect than I thought.

Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time.  (Colossians 4:5)

On Trial {God's Refining Fire For Our Faith}

    I love the "Aha!" moments. Those times when something just clicks and things get 'brighter' inside. :-) That happened to me this morning, while talking with Mom, and I thought the subject was important enough to share.

Have you ever heard those verses from the Bible that talk about trials and temptations?
You know: the "hold fast to the faith", "stand strong", and "whenever you face trials" verses?
Well, James 1:2-18 contains a good many things to be said on the subject of trials and temptations.
And where they come from and how to handle them. (Mom was studying James in her personal time this morning, and then she read James 1 aloud to me.) Here are two special verses that caught my attention, but their very juxtaposition:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. (vs. 2-3)


When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. (vs. 13&14)

 The first thing I noticed as Mom was reading through it aloud (sometimes hearing a passage brings it out to our ears more than reading silently would) was that trials and temptations are not the same. Not at all. I suppose I 'knew' this, but I did not realize it! But yes, it is true. Think of Job. God was not tempting him, He was trial-ing him, if you will. Job was on trial! Why? For his faith. It's like God was saying, Job, "How much faith do you have in Me? Through how much will you 'stick' to Me?"  Because,

"In this you [should] greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials,so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ..." (1 Peter 1:6&7)

This chapter in James talks about trials and how whenever I face them, I need to remember with joy that they will produce perseverance, because they are testing my faith! To my normal human thinking, this does hardly seem something to be happy or joyful about. :( Trials always puts me in mind of Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof. He has these bad things happen to him over and over again, often right at a time that would have been otherwise joyful! His act of looking to the heavens with a sort of, "Really, God? Was that necessary?" attitude is something we all feel like doing once in a while at least...
And yet. And yet, I am to welcome trials! Why? Why is that, and, how could I?
I can do just that, and rise above the temptations and make it through the trials because I know that:

• Trials from God are refining me & my faith in Him! He is making my faith stronger and stronger; He is refining my trust & hope in Him until it is a beautiful and true as gold!
• Temptations never come from God, always from the Devil and I am tempted only because my flesh wants to be. My spirit is God's and in communion with Him, so temptations can't touch that! But I must resist the temptings, and stay on the narrow path.
• The greatest (i.e. the most faithful) of Christians from history and time were able to be and do what they did because they knew that through the trials and even in the temptations, God was with them. He never ever left them, and  still promises this to us: 

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." (1 Cor. 10:13)

So there you have it. I really learned something today. Something about God (He is so merciful, and thoughtful!) and something about myself (if I trust God, I can overcome!)  :-)

Happy St. Lucias Day, Everyone!
~Hannah

- - - - - - - - - - - - - * Merry Christmas! *