Karl, Silence, and Friends

K-a-r-l

We might be selling my car, Karl.
[insert sobbing]
I can't believe it, but it's true...this may be happening in the near, unforeseeable future!
It feels a little like sending your kid off to an orphanage! (Mom says I exaggerate here; I might be.)
But I was raised in that car, practically! My older sister, Victoria learned to drive in it, and so did I. It wasn't my brother, Josh's style so he got a VW Fox. Which was pretty cool too....but still. Nothing compares to driving my Karl, a powder blue 1986 Dodges Aries station-wagon. Thus named "Karl" for the plastic, meaningless, blocky little 'K' on the side of the driver's door. He also has this odd quirk of accelerating faster than you want to. ;) There is also absolutely no winder-shield washing fluid (the reservoir cracked and leaked ages ago), and the mice like living in the warm heating ducts. >.<
But! It's still works! Some of the time. :)
Time to let go, I tell myself.
*sniff*
And looking at the new one that will replace him (shhhh) I don't feel too bad about it anymore. ;) Who knows, maybe some artistic hippie will find him, fall in love with him and paint him psychedelic colors like I always wanted too! Wouldn't that be funny seeing the old car you sold, being driven around town like that? It'd be funny, indeed.

S.i.l.e.n.c.e

I was laying in my bed last night, trying to force myself to sleep, trying to drain the day's worries and consciousness of all the mistakes made and trying to just be quiet. Enjoy the silence. It was hard. Sometimes I feel like I am not living unless I am talking, or hearing someone talking at least. Maybe that sounds extreme. Maybe it's not though. Reading about Richard Wurmbrand, and how he spent years in solitary confinement created a gratefulness in me that hasn't gone away--a gratefulness for speech, for talk. Yes, there are times I just want to yell, "Would you all just SHUT UP!" to whoever is talking their heads off. However it is, at other times, that the comforting sound of Mom talking with Dad, or of Lizzie explaining something interesting to Mom and Jon, or the sound of a good friend's voice on the other end of the phone makes me all happy and tingly and sunshiny inside! :)
You know the feeling don't you? It's that feeling that says, "I am alive, I am human! Breathing, living, loving, hearing humanly alive!" What an amazing thing, God. (He talks too, you know.)

But silence is important at some crucial times; say, when you need to decide something. Often, if I really examined why I was talking so much, so fast I would find that I was doing it to drown out something. The other person, my heart, the situation, others' opinions,or maybe even...God Himself. :( It's true.
Silence leaves everything to the imagination.
Silence leaves room for those bottled up things in the corner of your consciousness to blow up, or diffuse.
Silence opens up an audible way for God to get to you (finally.)
Silence can be scary.
And yet, if the Lord helps you fill the silence, and helps you sort all the knots out, silence could turn out to be a good thing. A tool to open up, to grow, to humble yourself. And that, that...is wonderful thing. :)

F-r-i-e-n-d-s

My sister Lizzie, is doing a informal survey of those around her based on the question of what things are important in a friend. What must they be, to capture our hearts? At first I admit I thought this ground had been covered already, but then...when she asked me what three things I thought were most important in a friend, I had to think. And even then, the answers I gave ("a good listener", "cares about you", and "love you") seemed okay, but cliche and 'fluff' answers.

So, she got me thinking, with that survey. :) What is a friend? Or, more importantly for each of us to stare in the face:
What kind of person is a friend for me?
Who draws me, sticks with me, loves me for who I am and never leaves?
(Were the friends that drifted away even 'friends' in the first place?)
How can I be that person to someone, or several persons?

I feel like these questions (and more) are so important to answer, at least for myself, but I am definitely going to need a lot more silence around here to find some answers.

Here's to Life, and It's Questions,
~Honnah